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December 26, 2017

The Last Jedi, the First Me

The Last Jedi was really good. It didn’t feel like a traditional Star Wars movie. It tried a lot of new things and most of it worked.

[spoiler alert]

I really liked Luke, Kylo and especially Rey. I loved watching Rey trying to understand her place in the galaxy. She approached the unknown with such trepidation that I couldn’t help but feel for her. When she confronts Kylo Ren I really wanted her to run off with him and take over the First Order because that’s what I would’ve done. Therein lies the magic of Star Wars. You think about the kind of hero you would be in that world. I think that goes for many great story; You think about what classes you’d take at Hogwarts or you decide on what superpower you’d have in XMEN. Games like Fallout and Skyrim contain a certain appeal when you get to forge your own story within a completely alien world. I hope my writing inspires the same kind of wonder in others.

I saw the Last Jedi on Christmas day. I’m away from my family, my friends and with no where to be. Like Rey I don’t really understand my place in the world yet, and my outward reality reflects that inward instability.

For a moment I didn’t have to suffer the oppression of my circumstance; instead I got to be part of a story through empathizing with Rey. I watched her face the unknown, the darkness and her harsh truths. In a way they were my challenges too. Sure, I didn’t have to fight people with a lightsaber but I understand her. I understand what being rejected by your parents feels like. I understand being lonely, being small and insignificant in a large and uncaring world. I understand wanting to belong, to have something to hold onto in the chaos of life and say “This is me.”

She thought she would find belonging with Luke but she didn’t. I thought I would find it in all sorts of places but it didn’t work like that. Rey had to turn inward, she had to reach deep inside herself before she could reach out through the force. I still have a long ways to go facing my own challenges. Like Rey I’m on my own journey, not across a galaxy in a spaceship but into my soul and with my heart. Maybe I’ll get a cute sidekick like a porg along the way.

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